Emotional intelligence What is it and how can you improve yours

Emotional intelligence What is it and how can you improve yoursEmotional intelligence What is it and how can you improve yoursEmotional intelligence isnt just a buzzword or self-care trend that will fade away, but an important capability thats a driver behind successful relationships, careers and projects.Its a simple idea, but a complex topic to understand, so Ladders took the liberty of talking to the experts to answer all your emotional intelligence questions.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreWhat is emotional intelligence?ShutterstockEmotional intelligence can be described as a set of five skills that we use to regulate both our own and others feelings, according to Marc Brackett, co-founder of the Oji Life Lab and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Brackett explains emotional intelligence using RULER, an acronym that breaks up the term as the ability toRe cognize emotions in oneself and othersUnderstand the causes and consequences of emotionsLabel emotions with precise wordsExpress emotions in regards to culture and contextRegulate emotions in yourself and othersAndrea Hoban, the chief learning officer and co-founder of the Oji Life Lab, buckets those five categories into two main areas of focus, including the ability to recognize your own feelings and the ability to regulate emotions based on your own goals. In order to recognize emotions, you must be able to read nonverbal cues, have the language to regulate emotion, and have an understanding of cultural rules.Emotional intelligence provides you with a very clear way of understanding who you are in terms of how you relate to the world, Brackett said. It gives you very specific strategies that are personalized to you as an individual.What is EQ?While some call it EQ, Brackett much prefers EIQ, which stands for emotional intelligence quotient. Similar to your intelligence quotient (I Q), an EIQ instead measures your capability to recognize emotions, label them properly, and use emotional information to influence thoughts and actions.Can I improve my emotional intelligence?ShutterstockBecause its called emotional intelligence, people are fearful that its not able to be developed, Brackett said.While some people are born with impressive intelligence quotients (IQs), emotional intelligence is a much more learned capability.People arent born with a pocket full of emotion regulation strategies or the language to makemeaning out of how they feel. Instead, individuals learn how to process from their surroundings, whether it be their parents, friends, teachers, etc.Thankfully for the emotional unintelligent, Brackett argues that emotional intelligence can absolutely be improved. In fact, Oji Life Lab has designed processes and programs to help individuals improve their emotional skills.The Oji Life Lab app puts control of your emotional intelligence right in your hands, allowing you to learn about emotions right from your phone. By providing insights and suggestions, the app helps you rid your life of negative habits and introduce positive ones.By learning about emotions, and learning about yourself, you can improve your emotional intelligence and your relationships.How to measure emotional intelligenceA persons EIQ is measured using wertzuwachs assessment tools that evaluate an individuals ability to read and respond to emotions. Instead of asking people to evaluate their own skills, which produces inaccurate results, researchers ask individuals to complete assessments that evaluate their ability to identify emotions and regulate the emotions in themselves and others.While testing emotional intelligence, Brackett and Hoban will ask people to decode facial expressions. Additionally, they will providescenarios and ask what would be the best strategy for handling the emotions in that situation.How to improve emotional intelligenceNot everyone has ti me to get their EIQ tested by experts like Brackett and Hoban, but instead, curious individuals can use tools like the emotion snapshot in which a person receives feedback from peers about how they handle emotions.This360 feedback system gives insights into what area one may need to improve their emotional intelligence skills.In no way does that marry the complex emotions you have going on internallybut it does allow someone to understand what blind spots they may have, Hoban said.What are the qualities of an emotionally intelligent person?ShutterstockSomeone with a high EQIs good at identifying their own emotionsIs good at managing their own emotionsIs able to identify the emotional drives of other peopleIs good at handling other peoples emotionsEmotionally intelligent people have strong soft skills, meaning they have superior communication skills, critical thinking, and coachability.Why is emotional intelligence important?Emotions come into play in every aspect of our lives, even during times when we dont feel emotional. You make decisions that impact your life every day, and emotions come into each of those decisions whether you realize it or not.Its critical that one learns to recognize and regulate their emotions to support the best optimal performance in that situation.Its really important for better performance, higher quality decisions, healthier relationships, and a much better balance of mental and physical health as well, Hoban said.How do you use emotional intelligence at work?While most people have been told their whole lives that emotions should be left at the door, emotions in the workplace always have a seat at the table, Brackett said.The Yale research on emotional intelligence distinguishes four main impacts of emotions the ability to make decisions, our ability to perform, our ability to take care of our mental and physical well being, and the ability to build and maintain quality relationships.Hoban points at a situation in which youre abou t to make a huge presentation at work. Imagine youre just about to leave your desk for the meeting when you read an email that really angers you. While you felt great earlier, now youre not in the best mental state to deliver a killer presentation.If I can have a set of strategies that Ive worked on and that I know work to regulate behauptung angry feelings and put me in a more positive state of mind, then Ill walk into that meeting really ready to work, Hoban said.Instead of ruining your presentation, emotionally intelligent people will execute a strategy or a practice that they know can shift them into a more helpful emotional state.Jen Shirkani, an emotional intelligence expert, outlined nine ways to use emotional intelligence at work.Who needs emotional intelligence?ShutterstockEmotional skills are crucial to not only building successful relationships, but also to maintaining a happy lifestyle for oneself.Some may think its only important for leaders to focus on emotional intell igence, but its important for each role in the workplace to enhance their emotional intelligence.Hoban points to the operating room, emotional intelligence is critical to the performance of surgeons and anesthesiologists alike. Additionally, a data analyst can use emotional intelligence skills to decrease their anxiety created by deadlines.An individual in customer service must have to skills to regulate their own emotions as identify and handle the emotions of the customer.I cant think of a situation where emotions dont impact performance, Hoban said.How to use emotional intelligence as a leaderWhile a high EIQ is important for each member of a team, its important that strong soft skills are being exemplified at the top of any organization. Emotional skills come into play during every day of a leaders life, whether it be a normal Tuesday or one filled with performance reviews.In addition, leaders must be emotionally intelligent enough to realize when extroverts are overtaking intro verts. During a meeting, a leader should be able to read the body language of people in the room.While a lively discussion is great, a leader should shift attention to those who havent participated and make them feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts.History of emotional intelligenceShutterstock (2)Wayne Payne first used the official term emotional intelligence in his 1985 doctoral dissertation. Psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer gave the term an official definition and introduced the concept to the science world in their 1990 landmark article.Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and New York Times science writer, popularized the term into vernacular with the release of his 1995 book,Emotional Intelligence Why it Can Matter More than IQ.Goleman broke up the subject into five key elementsSelf-awarenessSelf-regulationSelf-MotivationEmpathy/Social AwarenessSocial SkillsThe concept is now studied at major universities, the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, which work s to build awareness of the impact emotions have in the workplace andin places of education.In 2009, emotional intelligence expertsTravis Bradberry and Jean Greaves publishedEmotional Intelligence 2.0, a self-help book thatoutlines 66 strategies for enhancing ones own emotional intelligence.While there are many self-help books that claim to help others strengthen their emotional intelligence skills, Bradberrys work includes research and was even praised by the Dalai Lama himself.As the term was embraced by the professional psychology world, universities began to implement the subject as a part of the research. Founded in 1987, the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has grown to conduct research on emotional intelligence. Findings from said research have been used to create programs that help educators embrace and utilize emotions in schools.Is emotional intelligence a soft skill?Soft skills are desirable qualities that are often learned through ones environment, rather than thro ugh formal education or training.So, is emotional intelligence a soft skill?Oftentimes emotional intelligence is classified as a soft skill, but I would argue that its harder than the hard skills, Brackett said.Hard skills, once learned, dont need much fine-tuning over the years. On the flip side, emotional skills are way more complex and require continuous development. Cold, cognitive skills stick with you, but because emotions are ever-changing, so are the skills that come along with regulating them.For example, one day you may be able to talk to a coworker calmly about a joke you didnt enjoy, but what if youre in a bad mood the next time you hear that joke? You may be way more reactive and require a different set of skills to handle the situation.What is emotional energy?Emotions are not just good and bad but actually, exist on a spectrum of pleasantness. Emotions can be evaluated as positive versus negative as well as on a separate axis called the energy spectrum.Certain emotion s, such as feeling drained or sleepy, are low energy emotions, while excitement and panic are high energy emotions. Labeling emotions based on low or high energy helps people identify what they are feeling and how to change or use that emotion in their favor given a circumstance.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will ersatzdarsteller your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people